The success of a fraternal life flows from the fact that God is the Motive for behavior.
Among the thousand and one possible reactions that people can have, there exists one option in the intimacy of the person. Is there or is there no salvation for the one who annoyed me yesterday? A corresponding motive, not always well defined, compels a person to make each decision. I am going to greet him (decision). The motive? The fear of losing my good image. I am not going to greet him for three days (decision) so that (motive) he may realize that he offended me.
The motive which drives us and shapes our conduct is sometimes confused. We made a life revision in community. In the course of the reflection, a particular member adopted an arrogant approach almost aggressive in front of the others. In a private conversation with him afterwards, he explained that he had acted in that way because he was convinced that he was right. In the end, he admitted that the basic impulse motivating his attitude was his need for self-affirmation.
At other times, the motives appearing on the surface are not the true impulses; those are buried deep in our nature.
Man controls an explosion, yields in a discussion. becomes silent in an argument. He believes he has done this out of humility or out of feelings of fellowship. However, the true motives are very different: fear of ridicule, insecurity, timidity, fear of being underestimated by the community.
Overestimation of oneself may lead an individual to behaviors which, at first, appear to be prompted by a low self-esteem. Strange Games with motivations that come from very distant regions!
Community of Faith means that the members are endeavoring to adopt the feelings, the reflexes and the conduct of Jesus as the inspiring motives for their reactions in their daily life together.
At a certain moment, a legion of impulses may rise up in an individual; these motivate his decisions, for example, to refuse to communicate with another member. to hurt the susceptibility of a timid aggressive subject, to undermine the prestige of a self-sufficient individual… At this moment, the Word -Jesus- and his criteria must stifle all those obscure urges so that this brother may forgive, accept and encourage the other members of the community.
In such cases, mental prayer ought to revive the presence of God, the “memory” (presence) of whom ought to drown out the voices of instinct in me and prompt a behavior similar to that of Jesus.
The will, invested with and impelled by Jesus, ought to overrule our obscure impulsive forces. Thus, instead of staging an explosive reaction, I will remain silent like Jesus before Pilate. Later, I will dialogue with calm and peace. Then, I will let go of the unpleasant memories of the misunderstanding and be generous enough to forget. From now on, I will be thoughtful and patient with every-one, as Jesus was with his own.
Taken from the book “Come with Me”, Chapter Two, Title “The Redemption of our impulses” by father Ignacio Larrañaga.
