Today, we have a prominent exponent of this faith of surrender: Therese of the Child Jesus. From her, we have these words of pathetic and almost superhuman greatness:
“The most absolute aridity and even surrender were my dowry. Jesus as always, remained asleep in my little boat.”
This is great comfort for all of us, to know that someone of such high esteem has lived, smiling and peaceful, this surrender of faith, despite the absolute silence of God.
This testimony gains a renewed grandeur when it is finished with these words:
“It could be that [the sleeping Jesus] will not awaken until my final rest in eternity. But this, instead of saddening me, gives me the greatest comfort.”
This fragile woman was of the same mold as Abraham. As we shall see later, some people pass through the world with the comforts of God. But many others see God as a torture. Only surrender -absolute faith- transforms torture into sweetness. Therese of Lisieux belongs to this class of people.
Her statements a few days before dying leave us dumbfounded, and she shines above many men of the Bible who asked God for a “sign” in order to have the security that God is God. This saint refuses that “grace.”
“I do not wish to see God on earth… I prefer to live in faith.”
With simple words, she sketches for us a beautiful metaphor for the mystery of faith:
“I think of myself as a baby bird covered with down. I am not an eagle; I only have the eyes and heart of an eagle, but, in spite of my extreme smallness, I dare to stare at the divine sun, at the sun of love, and in my heart I feel all of the hopes and dreams of an eagle.
The little bird would like to fly toward the sun which fascinates the eye… What will become of that bird? Will it die of pain, seeing itself so weak? Oh, no! The little bird does not even feel sorry. With courageous surrender it wants to continue staring at the divine Sun. Nothing would be able to frighten it, not even the wind or rain. And if dark clouds come to hide that star of Love, the little bird does not budge; it knows that beyond the clouds, its Sun continues to shine, that the splendor cannot be darkened even for a moment.”
This is the final mystery of faith. We have been de-signed for an infinite Objective. But the design has been distorted by a disaster that makes the original objective difficult to attain. We are sparrows, but we have the hearts of eagles. This is the terrible and contradictory mystery of humanity: to be at one and the same time sparrow and eagle; to have the eagle’s heart and the sparrow’s wings.
What are we to do? I know that I cannot fly that high. I will not even attempt it. I will not even trouble my wings to surrender myself to the wind: that wind which is God. He will do the rest. I know that I am not an eagle, but I also know that if I surrender myself to God, He will be able to give me the powerful wings of the eagle. Is anything impossible with God? I know that I am a pile of ruins and failures; but I also know that if I surrender to God, He will be able to transform me into a magnificent mansion. He is power and grace.
If God is wrapped in a mantle of silence or is hidden behind the clouds, “with courageous surrender” I will continue to gaze, although I may see or feel nothing. Although a thousand voices may assault me, speaking to me of illusion, I know that He is behind the silence and I will stubbornly and peacefully continue to search for Him. And although God is “asleep” in my boat, for as long as I live, it does not matter. I know that He will “awaken” on the great day of eternity.
Taken from the book “Sensing Your Hidden Presence” Chapter II, SENSING YOUR HIDDEN PRESENCE.
Chapter Two: Like one who could see the Invisible
