Mary treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart (Luke 2:19)
What is there between the light and the dark? The penumbra. Which is nothing but a mixture of lights and shadows? If we examine the evangelical texts, we see that May’s life was a voyage on a sea of lights and shadows.
On the day of Annunciation, the serious and solemn words spoken seemed to indicate that her journey would be full of everlasting wonders. The reality was different. She was left alone and abandoned even at the hour of giving birth and then she had to flee like an ordinary political fugitive and live under foreign skies. For thirty years there was nothing new. There was only monotony and silence.
On what was Mary to rely? That which was promised to her at the Annunciation? Or the current, cold, hard reality? Confusion. I wonder if the serenity of her soul was ever shaken? Whatever happens to us… why should it not also happen to her?
What did she do in such times of trouble? She herself tells us. She returned to the ancient writings of the scriptures in order to stand firm.
Those words were like lamps which the Mother always kept burning brightly: she kept thinking about them wondering what they meant, pondering them in her heart. (Luke 2:19, 2:50) These were not dead words but living remembrances. When sudden occurrences appeared enigmatic and disconcerting, the living lamps of these ancient writings shed light on the perplexing darkness of the actual events.
Thus, our lady pierced through the thick shadows. By means of these ancient words the haze gave way to a complete clarity. The different evangelical texts and their general context shed light upon her “understanding” the transcendent mystery of Jesus. This mystery was inexorably unfolding because of her unbreakable adhesion to God’s will which was being made manifest through these new happenings.
The very same thing happens to us. Many souls on certain occasion experience gratuitous driven encounters, and they are keenly aware of these infused graces and extraordinary favors. Such moments are engraved like raw wounds on their souls. They are intoxicating moments.
The years go by. God is silent. These souls are assaulted by temptation and lack of direction. Monotony overcomes them. God’s silence is deafening. Almost in despair, they must reach out for the memory of happy times in order not to fall more deeply into the pit of desperation.
The greatness of Mary does not consist in thinking that she was never assailed by confusion. It is not knowing, that when she doesn’t understand something, she does not react as if she were distressed, impatient, irritated, anxious or afraid.
For example, doesn’t Mary confront the twelve years old boy: “My son I don’t understand anything, what is happening? Please, explain to me quickly the meaning of this attitude?
At the purification, do we hear May saying to Simeon, the old man who was waiting for the Promised One, “You venerable old man, what does this sword mean? Why does this child have to be a sign of contradiction?
Instead of speaking that way, she assumes the attitude of the Poor Ones of God; peaceful, patient, and sweet, as she takes their words, accepts them, thinks about them, reflects on their meaning, saying to herself, “I wonder what these words mean? What is the will of God in all this? The mother is like those flowers that close in on themselves when the sun is hiding: so, it is that she keeps these words withing her as she goes about accepting the mystery of life, while trying to understand the sometimes baffling will of God.
Taken from the book “The Silence of Mary” chapter II section: “Between Light and Darkness” by Father Ignacio Larrañaga